Golfing with Random Teds: When You're the Random Ted

I recently wrote about previous experiences of golfing with random Dougs and how it can be a rather painful experience.  Well well, now the shoe is on the other foot and it’s time to look at it from a different perspective.  What about when you are the random Ted?  Then what?

This very idea popped in my mind recently because, well, I was That Guy who got paired up with a couple of friends.  Last Friday, I showed up at the course around 4 in the afternoon, hoping to get a quick 9 (and if I’m lucky, 18) in before the sun went down.  Due to the lovely September day we had, the course was a little more crowded than usual. 

“If I play as a single and get a cart, I should still be able to bomb around and get my 18 in”, I optimistically thought to myself.

After checking in at the pro shop, the lady behind the desk tells me it’s going to be a slow round as there are a lot of people out right now.   “No worries”, I tell her, “just trying to get 9 in since it’s so nice out”.  I was clearly lying as I wanted to play 18 but didn’t want her to think I was a complete psycho.

“There’s 2 guys going out right now, you can join them if you want”, she tells me.

"Alright, great", I respond.

What am I supposed to do, say no?  Tell her I’d rather play as a single because I just wrote a blog about the potential perils of golfing with randoms?  Should I check to see if they are smoking or crushing bud diesels before I agree to this? Wait, didn’t I join a course with the idea of meeting new people to golf with in the first place? 

After a quick bout of self-loathing and fighting off my Larry David moment of possibly avoiding this situation, I come to my senses and realize I should play with these guys.  After all, golf is a gentleman's game right?  Grow up.  I just hope I don’t play like shit like I did the week before.

So off I go.  I’m going to get paired up with the 2 buddies who just wanted to play together, probably play in the same fantasy football league and are most likely single digit handicaps.  I’m sure they’ll love my company and shitty golf game.  Not to mention they are walking and I’m riding in a cart, clearly I don’t need the exercise*.

After exchanging pleasantries, both guys drill their drives right down the middle of the fairway.  “Nice ball”, I say to both of them, trying to earn some goodwill.

This actually brings up my first conundrum of the day and playing with randoms issue #6: "what if we don't play from the same tee boxes?".  Before the round, I decided I was going to play the white tees instead of the customary blues, in an effort to score better than last time.  I was planning on putting the driver away, hitting my trusty 2 hybrid off the tee in order to keep it in the fairway, sticking wedges onto the green in regulation, then 2 putting for par all day, every day.  Boring golf.

Well think again my friend.  These cats were playing from the blues.  Of course they are, one guy is a 6 handicap, he's not going to play the WHITES! Do I stick to my plan and play from the whites?  Or I do man up and play from the tips like these hossas?  

Not wanting to seem like a pussy, and because I've played the blues 3 times already, I (not so)confidently decided I'd play the tips.  My game plan heading into today was thrown out.  Take out the big stick and let it rip. 

I tee up my Titleist 4 with 2 dots and swing away.  Boom.  Just as I anticipated, I spray it right.  Plunk.  Right in the drink.  Lost ball.  Nice swing, dick.  

After re-teeing and hitting 3, I keep the ball in play this time.  Whew.  That would have been very awkward if I lost another ball.  Alright we’re off.

As it turns out, they were both really good guys, and really good players.  I told them about my my story of playing the course before it opened, how difficult the course is and other small talk.  I even made plans to play with them again, though after I bunted around the course for a 47, I’m not so sure I should be expecting their call anytime soon.  All in all, I had an enjoyable round of golf, aside from my score.   

So what did I learn?  Golfing with randoms ain’t so bad after all, but it’s a different feeling when you’re on the other side of things and you’re the Ted, that's for sure. 

 

* I don’t Crossfit and I don’t exercise at the moment, but I carry around my 13 lb boss of a child quite a bit and I think that is sufficient.  Too bad the fall is here, otherwise it'd be suns out, guns out nonstop.